what are you giving up?
…about a lot of things lately, including writing in this blog again. So, first of all, here I am, encouraged by some friends also, writing in the good ol’ blog which no one reads!
There’s reasoning behind this you see: – namely that I have ‘quit facebook for lent.’ I put this in parenthesis (thanks Rachel @www.stageactorbysoul.wordpress.com because there’s only a certain extent to which I have managed this, you see.
I don’t see myself as someone who has very much will-power and I have proven this to myself again and again this week, by taking sneak peaks at facebook yesterday and Thursday, two particularly stressful days over the past week. I don’t know who I think I am cheating or fooling, but I think it’s only myself and possibly God that I am letting down. In addition to this, I’ve ‘given up eastenders’ as well, something which I gave up giving up on Friday due to the live episode which was airing.
So, you see, no will-power whatsoever. So, here I am, sitting on Monday 22nd, 6 days into lent and not doing so well. Thinking about giving up giving up anything – if you know what I mean… but what good does that do? In fact, why am I even giving up anything in the first place?
Well, lent isn’t something which I have been involved in before, partly because it’s not a surprise that I have no stickability with giving things up and this isn’t news so I just haven’t bothered before. Secondly, because I have never felt that there was anything in my life at the time of lent that I had to give up (or, at the time wanted to give up). However, this year was different as I sat checking my phone for facebook updates immediately after checking online and then watching back to back episodes of Eastenders and Doctors.
I sat down and thought about how prevailent these things were in my life compared to God and realised that connecting with people over facebook and watching a few rubbish soaps definitely took up more concentration time in my weekly routine than God. How sad! So, they have to go! At least 5hours per week can be gained by giving up these things. However, the time mustn’t be filled with more TV or with more social networking time (twitter, bebo, whatever else). Tough. Especially for me. No will-power, remember?
So far though (despite my apparent failings) I have read more of my Bible than I have over the rest of the beginning of 2010 and spent more time praying. This has been good, fulfilling and I am happy with this. I have also really realised my dependence on those things whcih comfort me when I am angry or stressed or tired, and how this dependence should be on God, not on ‘Stuff’ which I fill my time with.
One other thing, though, I have realised that I have a need for people around me, a need for community, and facebook etc meets this need to an extent. You connect with people and catch-up (even if it just through reading someone’s status update without commenting) and that’s it done. Whilst not facebooking, I have found out that connecting people in other ways is much more gratifying and I am having to make an effort to be with people, whether that is in person on over the phone etc. This is tough for me, as I need my space too and I thought this was the most important thing. It’s not though. So yeah, this is the journey of understanding my need for ‘connecting’ – expect to hear more about what I learn about this particular thing as I update over the course of ‘lent’ with my musings and thoughts about the whole process and other things of the like.
What’s your experience of community – do you need it? - do you need solitary? – is it important for humans? – AND – what are you giving up for lent, if anything, and why?
You did not fail! Doing lent is not one of the 10 commandments, therefore you do what you can do. The real difficulty is not to want to do more than we can actually do.
In my opinion, it’s better to giving up 1 small thing forever, than 10 for just 40 days. I know, I know, nobody asked for my opinion and my opinion is most of the time contrary to those around me here in Scotland, but still…
Not making ANY reference to you or anything you said in this blog, but I can’t understand the point in “lent”! if one gives up something, that’s because s/he thinks that thing is taking too much time.. so… why coming back to it? Personaly, but I do NOT judge those who do lent, I couldn’t give up something just for 40 days, I would feel like a pure hypocrit after the 40 days.
Last thing I wanted to say: Don’t even start saying “I have no will power”, don’t go down that road, cause it’s the first step to think you’re junk, believe me! Get rid of that thought asap and move on.
See the positive! You DO have will power or you wouldn’t have started lent, would you?!
Anyway, good and interesting thoughts in your thread…
Hollar!
I think self control is all about practice. So don’t feel discouraged that you’ve fluffed up a couple of times. Remember me with smoking?!
You get there in the end though, and surly, the point is the journey.
I think an ‘everything in moderation’ approach is rather awesome:
“Everything is permissible for me”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything.” 1 Corinthians 6:11-13
I know this is in reference to sexual immorality (dum-dum-duuuuum – how dramatic is that?!) SEXUAL IMMORALITY lawls…anyhoo, I think it’s relevant to loads of aspects of our lives. That we are free and liberated but not everything is good for us.
I don’t think facebook or Eastenders is bad for you…You enjoy these things! They make you smile. However, if these things gets in the way of life – living it to the full with other people – then fo sho, wean yourself off them.
Yeah, I know it is an interesting way, and clearly I am not doing lent in any sort of legalistic way, and my aim was never to make myself unhappy by cutting out thing that make me happy. Rather it was more of an aim to spend more time with God by cutting back on some of the things which take up a lot of my time. Facebook and Eastenders must go! lol. However, the whole process is teaching me a lot about my dependencies or the things I rely on more than I should, and also about the grace of God in allowing us to be free from legalism and law. I suppose you are right Jamie, it definitely is about not being mastered by anything! And realising that we’re not bound by law into good behaviour, but its actually a choice in response to something much more freeing – a response to the love of God.
Hi Clare,
really enjoyed reading this.
I see its not about the ‘giving up’ things per se nor is it about the ‘failing’ but rather the lessons which God has taught you about both yourself and him through this process.
Praise God for a work of depth!
Clare–thanks for reading my own Lenten self-flagellation blog post yesterday! In the end, the practice is about trying to clear out what gets in the way of you and God.
I have to think God made some us less focused because he can use our non-linear approaches to life for good in a different way than he does with those who are more regular in their practices. He’ll take our heartfelt bullet prayers, even if we think we should be down on our knees for hours to be good at prayer. But I don’t think he’s at all opposed to our attempts to try to do things a little better either!
And yes, I need community–real people and my online friends. But I also need solitude.
So far I’m giving up calling my dog bad names! Not only do I think I need to practice patience, but I also think that that kind of language gets between me and God.
I’ve really liked reading your articles. You apparently know your material. I’ve bookmarked it in my favourites and will certainly be returning for more.
I don’t think you failed at all.
This surely seems to have been a wake-up call for you. You NEED more time with God – check. But, as John Donne so well and famously said, “No man is an island”. With your working hours, it must feel sometimes like Facebook is the only connecting time you get with friends who *aren’t* colleagues.
And that’s okay! God made us to be relational. We need other people. Personally, I think I would have fallen apart long, long, long ago if it wasn’t for the people around me who listen to my outpourings. (You know who you are. ;-P) Oftentimes I’ll be crying on someone’s shoulder about something, and a few hours later I’ll be like “Yeh. Forget I said anything, will you?” Cos it felt like such a huge issue at the time but all I really needed to do was talk things over with someone. So in answer to your question – yes, I think I, and many other people – NEED community.
At the same time we also need solitary. Peace and quiet are so beneficial to us. It doesn’t even necessarily need to be a “quiet time”. My solitary tends to be, when I’m uber-stressed, I play cello or go running (which I never, ever, ever do when another human being whom I know is present because it is shameful). And that calms me down, even if it’s just a distraction from my stress.
And lastly – God still loves you even if you did fall of the lenten wagon.
Lots and lots.
oh.
p.s. you opened a bracket but didn’t close it. Fix it immediately. Shame on you.
you’re still my only reader though!!
p.p.s thanks for the advertising
Enjoyed reading everyones thoughts on Lent which has given be a bigger insight that you do not starve yourself for 40 days!!
Then I noticed in an article which read “However, just to confuse things, Lent is actually 46 days rather than 40 days. Why? Because the 40 days of Lent are supposed to be days of fasting, which means days of discipline and self-restraint. But Sunday, the Lord’s Day, should never be a day of fasting, but a day of celebration! So each Sunday we suspend our Lenten disciplines and celebrate. Lent is 40 “fasting” days spread out over a total of 46 days beginning on Ash Wednesday” …. Im sure its 40 days!!!!
Then .. The focus of Lent was always threefold:
1. It was a time to prepare new converts for baptism through intensive classes and instruction.
2. It was a time for long-standing Christians to review their lives and renew their commitment to Jesus Christ.
3. It was a time for backsliders to be restored to the faith.
Number 3 – Its time for backsliders to be restored to Faith.
My first though was me!! I will use this time to pray about the events in life which are holding me back. I have not lost faith just feeling that the events in my life over the past few years have been testing. When I attend church in Paisley I feel so lifted but come home to the same never ending neighbour problems. When I look back the lord has never ceased to provide for me even in all my failings. I have not wanted for anything he has always been there. I need to return his love & lent is an ideal time. Not just giving up chocolate…
I need to read more of my bible/pray and get my head out of the sand!! Renew my commitment to Jesus so that my faith will be restored.
Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.”- 1 John 3:18
Thanks for putting this event on Facebook hopefully it will touch others also.
Thanks Mum (Liz) for the thoughts on this: You’re right about the 46 days – I discovered this last year and delighted in telling people that their preconception that lent was a simple 40 days from Ash Wednesday until Easter was wrong. It baffles me though, life often doesn’t seem to be as simple as having a sabbath on a Sunday, often I have a Saturday or a Tuesday ‘sabbath’ but sometimes it falls over the course of two days (split in half) – so how do I break the ‘fast’ then? It is interesting to think about.
However, I think the main point I wanted to make in reply was about your ‘Number 3′. I read this and though it was an interesting was of putting it, almost like lent might only be useful for the bad among us, the real backsliders. I’m sure that this isn’t the case, though. In fact, maybe it would be more true to say that none of us are as close to God as we should be, and all of us are in need of reconcilliation to the Father. This, to me, is the real essence of lent; the need for us to draw closer to our creator and understand our inherant draw to that connection.
Lent is a great way to make a new landmark in our lives, in my opinion. It isn’t just about those 40 days, or 46, perhaps we need to think of it as the first 40 days of our new commitment. A great place to start, a renewal of focus. Anyway – Praise God for his provision, and for always being constant in times of change and trouble. We shouldn’t ever forget that!
Rachel – I really love your insights about our need for community and at the same time solitary. I think you managed to sum up a lot of what I maybe tried to say or what I would have said if I were more eloquent (which isn’t something that many people would refer to me as!)) (there’s an extra bracket in place of the missing one!).
Also – I often think (as was expressed during SPAM this year) that our so-called ‘quiet times’ are inadequately and confusingly named. Perhaps they should alwyas be our ‘connect times’; times of reconnecting with God, and through this, with ourselves and others?
Aw shucks XD thanks. And thankyou for my bracket.
And I concur with your quiet times point. Like you told me, terms and words become common when people use them. Let’s us start a “connect time” revolution and in 5 years Christians across the world will wonder why the silly people every named them quiet times in the first place!
Also, I remembered – DUH! Of course we need both community and solitary!
Jesus had his disciples for fellowship and all the masses of crowds for attention. And yet he went up on mountains to be alone.
And we are made to be like Him, are we not?
(Weeeeeeeeeeeee will be liiiiiiiiiike Hiiiiiiim, for we shall seeeeee Hiiiiiiiiiiimmm…IIIIIIIIIINN the AIIIIIIIIIIIIRR!)
Love the image. Would you mind me using it? https://simonharriswrites.wordpress.com/